 Let me hear you call my name. I blog to express not to impress. The sentence structure that were used are meant for me. I had graduated and I am currently working at a small red dot, Singapore. 20 February makes me turn a year older, 10 February marks my anniversary. 1 Heaven + 1 Son = Heaven There are many things to be discovered, but I won't disclose here. :D More than words. You know you love me, too.
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Recent updates...
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Wow... been very,very long since i last blogged! Well.... been super busy and a hectic schedule plus even if i do have a free time, i would be browsing my FB instead of blogging... :-) heheheh.... OMG... the past weeks, days and even moment been quite good with me and my family..Nizar just bought a new bike( not motorbike ok.. ) it's bicycle... hehehehe... cost us nearly 5k.... but he assures me that this bike will last for at least 5 years down the road.... well then... its too heartbreaking to part off with that amount of money but well.... pity him so let him just bought it... Not only that, saleemomo also request a bike from me... og for goodness sake... wads with all this bike frenzy.... I'm nearly broke and he was crying and crying insisting that i bought a bike for him... and well i did... i just did... yesterday!... Bought 1 BMX for him and he's super happy...cycle all the way from hong kah cc, down to aiman's cafe passing by the mosque and ta-da... back home... by the time we reach home it's sunset.. mom was nagging as she's late for her maghrib prayers.... heheheheh... she's so grumpy.... oh gosh... By the time we reached home, everyone was super tired and restless.... but nonetheless, it was a good and worth the while... Nizar and me was on leave to accompany saleem dor his dental check-up.. So the best thing is that i'm so looking forward for tomorrow.... yahoo.... gonna get up early, prepare my son for school as he's having a national day celebration... gonna packed him some snacks to be shared in school and off i went for my short weekend getaways... yippee.... sorry son..u will have to stay behind for just one night ok... Ibu promised will bring u along when you are a little older.... love u lots son... muack,muack.... :-) Life oh Life.... that's life...
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Life is certainly looking up on me. It has been better but definitely not good... but still life has to go on.... :-). The sun seems shining up on me and the moon lighting it up on me too.... No more worries abot anything else except for some financial strain... :-( *sigh* ... wonder why does everyone comes up to me when they wanted to borrow some cash.... does my face looks like 'borrow-from-me' kind of face... Oh god... helping people is a joy as what my friends say.... I dun expect for any return at all... really nothing at all... but... maybe i'm sick... i'm just sick of helping others when i myself needs help BADLY! does anyone ever sees that?? u got problem? i had mine too.... you had issues.. me too... so why everyone only think like as if they are the only poor,pathetic soul in this whole wide world.... you think you are worst? someone else is worst than that... I dun need anything, i dun need my help to be return... but just or at least understand me... you had your pain... i had my share too.... we are humans... same blood colour... so what does that makes me special...? I also dun need you to even think that you must repay me... DON'T need! i dun need all that... i just want you to understand that i'm helping because i think i can... but dun ever take me for granted... i'm sick of it ok.... Speaking of which... Saleem is sick again. Twice in the month of june. Ya Allah.... Love you bubusa.... naughty,crappy and cranky son of mine! Love you lotsa.... your mouth is getting bigger and wider nowadays... hahahah... NO one loves you but Ibu will always do!! And...... I shall spend more time with you soon k baby... just be patient and wait for ibu.... :-) we shall dun bother and dun care abt anything else alright.... My Love
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
 Aawww.... I realised that recently all my blogs is so negative.... :-) well... what to do.. that's life and i'm just pouring out my inner feelings to my dearest blog! But.... this week and last week is not bad a week for me.... wow... I'm loving it and it really contains me from feeling negative... which i need to practise for patience in that! Life was good as good as a bee... been busy lately or maybe trying to be more busy than ever... so that I will be more richer? hahahaha... pray hard i would! *grin* Wad can i say.... :-) My dearest little precious... was sick on sunday night. Down with high fever and a little cough. Can't manage to get away from work on Monday as my manager is not in and I will have to be around.... But.. I still manage to go back at 2pm after which I bring him straight to the doctor.. he doesn't want my mom to send him over to see the doctor. Naughty little boy... he doesn't want to eat and he just lie down staring and watching the tv.. But when i got back home... i find this boy is so energetic... I love you damn much SON! Now... I'm telling you! I love you damn much...so much that i'm willing to sacrifice myself just to make you happy! You may not understand the pain,hurt, dissappointment and grief that i go through... it doesn't matter and you don't have to know anyway... I do everything sincerely for you my son and as a mother... I will provide love and shower u with care and concern. I've high hopes on you dearest precious.... You meant the world to me... I can lose almost anything and everything... but I can't lose you... :-) Ibu hopes you are doing fine and be independent my precious boy.. you are a boy and somehow one day you will grow up to be a young man. Ibu wants you to be a responsible, kind, compassionate and respect other humans sayang. Life is too short to be holding on to grudges and bear revenge.. Remember that it won't bring you anywhere except a failed heart! As my child i wanna you to be strong like how u always do... I really love you... from the bottom of my heart i know its you and only you... Love you Saleem.. Wednesday, June 16, 2010
I think this time round.... i really put myself in big trouble plus hot soup... Aaaarrrgghhhhh... I need help... can anybody help me with this.... I can't imagine that there's someone is obssessed with me! Furthermore, he's trying to blackmail me... I really can't believe that this kind of things is happening to me.. Threaten me somemore....He threaten to send out an e-mail to my superior if he doesn't get to see me!! WTH.... not only that insisting that I should meet him in his own way.... I really wanna tell nizar about this... but I'm so afraid... By right there is nothing that i should be afraid of... but i don't know what e-mail he's gonna send... he can always add up stories here and there....I'm doomed! I'm really doom.... i have to choose either 1 ( meetups or having the risk of being demoted,terminated or either transferred ) What should I do?? I need help please.... I'm mentally abuse... it seems like he's controlling me with all his words and actions... I really never expected it to turn out this way.... It's the fucking biggest mistakes I had ever make to befriend him!! I'm so hating it... Things is not as easy as it may seems to be.... however, i will still need a permanent way out so that he knows i heck care all his bloody threatening... I definitely don't want him to control me and I won't know if meeting him up he won't threaten me in the future.... It feels so painful inside... he's been calling me day and night!! disturbing me.. I'm so exhausted..... oh please... Ya allah lindungilah hambamu ini... apakah keputusan yang harus aku buat... aku takde niat lain selain daripada berkawan seperti biasa.... tapi... ini sudah melampaui batas... I have to make a choice by today before it's all too late... either now or never... Buck up!
Saturday, June 5, 2010
 :-( There's just so many things that's clogging up my mind. Almost about anything and everything. I'm so hating it. One by one it's succumbing me to failure and breakdown. Everyone knows and saw me fine. BUt... reality shows it all... reality definitely shows it all... Suddenly I am pissed with the family, the life, the work, the people and everything. All..... You've got the right to be angry with me, scold me, hurt me, rant at me and criticize me. But don't I have the right to be upset and angry as well??? What the bloody hell are you thinking. I'm just human... human... and tell you what! I've had enough ok... really enough!!! I dun wish to hear you apologizing to me anymore! No point... wads the point??? you will do it again and again till you die! you're not gonna appreciate and you're not gonna change! So that's it.... i've had nothing to lose.... this is not major. Nothing... absolutely nothing to be depend on you... None. Zero. Are we even a team in the first place? are we??? if your answer is yes... wait and think again. We are not! we are not.... Back to reality ok and back to what and where we are stepping on. All is just a pretence... everything is pre-plan. Pretence and pre-plan. It suits very well with each other. So that's what i'm trying to be now. I cannot tolerate you anymore that's for sure.... Because of you i can't tolerate anyone anymore.. absolutely anyone. and now i have to pretend in front of everyone. I dun care anymore.... i will stand up and fight for my rights even if it means that i have to kill you. I will! I really will.... this love has turn into hatred. Nothing you say will ever works on me and tell you what.... you can fucking hell with your respect! you earn no one respect and you shouldn't be getting one even... so dream on ok. enough is enough... i'm gonna stand up and fight. by all means i mean real fight here. gonna get back what is mine and i disallowed you to even had a share of it. Sorry just no touching of my stuffs!!! I deal this my way and on my own. I dun need you even if i have to sell my ass off!!! LISTEN BITCH!!! I DON'T NEED YOU AND I DON'T NEED ANYONE!!!!!! My SON
Monday, May 31, 2010
I was doing fine today... just a little upset yesterday because my son can say goodbye to me without crying! Saleem is a very clingy boy, evrerything he will call out for me... he will Ibu here and Ibu there. He's so dependent on me and hard to let go... everywhere and anywhere i go he wants to tag along!So i'm definitely upset that he doesn't cry abit when i left him with my mom for this 2 weeks. Adding on to my sadness... he can say goodbye happily to me and even see me me off! Saleem... dun you sayang your Ibu anymore? I love you my son.... hhmmm.... :-) I miss the time when you are just a small baby... u can't talk but you can whine... i definitely miss that... you are such a grumpy baby... and i love that. Now you are 3.... and of course you behave like a 3 would. Its just that you are becoming more and more demanding. Toys, food and everything else... what Ibu can buy for you i definitely will. Yesterday i went to the kiddy palace, you want a laptop! Ibu definitely can't buy the REAL one.... of course... its not your time yet. YOu demand for a laptop and you say you want the big one and you are not interested in the small one. What a mouth... you speak and talk like an adult naughty! you even say "Shaleem nak yang beshar unye lah mcm ayah... shaleem nanak yang kecik"... Ya allah... i feels like biting you. So adorable.... and so I bought you just that yesterday... its a learning laptop for kids and children, at the same time i hope he can learn. :-) But i'm not telling him just yet... will keep that as a secret and a surprise from me to him. Can't wait to see his priceless reaction.. :-) Even now while i'm jotting down my blog.... i'm missing you son.... you bring joy and you bring tears too... but i feel satisfied and when i can't even see you for a day... i became restless.... :-( YOu must always REMEMBER AND KNOW that IBU will always SAYANG AND LOVE you till ibu last breathe. I promise. Mixed emotions
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
I'm PISSED, ANGRY, IRRITATED, FED-UP, STRESS AND A LOT MORE!! I can't even describe! WTF,WTF,WTF,WTF....... aaaarrrgggghhhhhhh... its been so long that I'm last being pissed off... Now i feel like killing and burning seomeone to death. I had Enough lah... Please as I always say... Don't take my Kindness as my Weakness!!! WTH..... Taking advantage of me right.... Then i Shall show you what i shall do ok.... before i blow your bloody brains out! which i'm definitely going to! I will say my f*****g piece of words to make you realised and feel like a stupid f*****g SHIT! Do you have any Idea how bloody, farking hate I am to even see you??? Do you think that I like you all this while??? Just because you smile at me and f*****g joke with me!! WTH....... YOu think i even like your company?? YOU think I even want to learn with you??? NO WAY... NO FARKING way do i want to even talk to you and joke with you at all!!! Why are u still in a denial state!! Dun you know how much hatred I had in me towards you?????? Nothing is ever good about you!!! Do you know that???/ So please... I don't need to learn anything from you and i dun even farking wish to know anything from you.... i dun even bother to hear any bloody,unrealistic and fake farking jokes from you!! Its farking lame ok! really farking lame!! So now either you go or i will be the one's going...! I don't wanna care anymore....Today...?
Friday, May 14, 2010
Gosh... Today is Friday...but i'm hating it! I have to stay back because there's some escort that i need to do... shuckers man... i'm so pissed that ever...really piss off... fed up. I don't want to work anymore... I wanna quit!!! quit,quit,quit... and dearest Blog i only report to you and no others... because sometimes talking to human is a waste of my breathe... no matter how much you talk the end they still don't understand and worst when they say they don't get it!! pain in the ass....Tmrw, is the Sentosa trip... i don't know if i should be excited or what.... and the best part is.... Saleem is coming along with me... hahahahah.. it sure hectic plus noisy...furthermore with my dearest baobei... love my son... muack,muack... the thought of him make me control my temper and curb my anger.... naughty,naughty little brat! hahahaha So not liking it.... :-(
Thursday, May 13, 2010
 Aaaarrrrggghhhhh........... I can't help it!! I wanna shout.... OMG.... I'm really not liking this at all.... Why?.... I can't help it if you are being lazy and i'm doing your stuff! Its just not fair.... well i know nothing in life is ever fair... BUT! you've been talking and talking like 1 old woman having her menopause! Can you just please be straight to the point! WTH..... you don't have to use QUEEN's English to communicate with me or others!! Oh shucks...shuckers... you're making me sick from top to bottom!! OH my... i'm panting for air.... *sigh*.......................................... Please lah get lost...just get lost! the sight of you makes me wanna puke! So before I puke at your face...i think you better get out of my sight....!! I wanna cry of anger!!! Ya Allah... apa lah dengan orang2 nie... dah nak mampos,mampos aje lah... kenapa suka susahkan orang lain demi keuntungan diri sendiri.... :-( you're troubling me for your own benefits!! WTF..... You're a man but i think you're trap inside a woman's body is it!! or your wife don't treat you well? WTH...... please if i'm gonna deal or liaise with you for the rest of my life... then I quit! I quit,i Quit and I quit!!! Astarghfirullah... i think its been so long since i last encounter with such people... I wonder how can the other's tolerate him to that extend??? maybe other's can but not me... i'm sure there's more out there... So i think this is Allah trial to test me.... :-( but I don't like it any one bit.... how?? I'm angry but suddenly my anger turns to sadness.... :-( Oh why.....? :-)
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
"Giving to our parents is in fact giving to oneselfs. Their Prayers is a gift, their Hope is a fact and their Love is never-ending! ~ Quote header...Yes.... its all about Love again and again... for eternity. Well.... Love brought us together and Love can also bond us... We are in this world due to Love that our parents share. We are married because of the love we had with our spouse... We love our children and that is the evidence of the love in our Marriage life.... We love our friends for who they are and not for what they are... We love Allah because he create us and he plant the seeds of Love in us.... Everything and everywhere is all about Love... Isn't love great? As per saying... Keredhaan Allah terletak sama jugak dengan Keredhaan Ibu Bapa... So dun,ever,ever think of hurting them in the near future... Let us love them whole heartedly and empathise with them for what they have gone thru... Joke with them if you must, laugh with them if you want... but never,ever hurt them... you will feel the pain not now but soon... what goes around comes around right.... So before its all too late.... shower them with care and concern and love them unconditionally.... you will see the fruits of it... and trust me Allah will blessed us all... Insya-allah. :-) Kasihnya ibu membawa ke syurga... kasih nya ayahanda smp berada.... |